View source for A Yard Glass of Beer

Inspired by a comment made by [[User:Symmetry|Symmetry]], who said that "Dwarven things aren't that long", in regards to the fact that though they are prodigious drinkers, due to their vertical shortcomings dwarves would have trouble drinking a yard glass of beer. A yard glass of beer is, of course, a yard-tall glass of beer containing three pints or so. It's rather popular in Australia, I hear.<br><br>

<b>A Yard Glass of Beer</b><br>

Oh a dwarven miner,<br>
You can't get any finer<br>
For working your shaft all day.<br>
With pickaxe or spade,<br>
He's perfectly made<br>
For digging it out any way.<br>
But for all of his skill<br>
With chisel and drill<br>
There's one thing he can't do, I fear<br>
When he gets to the bar<br>
He's too short by far<br>
To throw back a yard glass of beer.<br><br>

A mean hobbit rogue<br>
Is rather in vogue<br>
For fixing your family affairs<br>
With poisoned snacks,<br>
Or daggers in backs<br>
He's the shadow at the top of the stairs.<br>
Yet such deeds in the dark<br>
(Though rather a lark)<br>
Are useless, it's terribly clear,<br>
When out on the town<br>
He tries then to down<br>
A towering yard glass of beer.<br><br>

A clever gnome mage<br>
Whatever his age<br>
Can beat you in day or in night.<br>
With illusions aplenty<br>
And spells (nearly twenty)<br>
He's a tricky li'l bastard all right.<br>
But all of his chanting<br>
And masterful casting<br>
Though it earns the respect of his peers,<br>
There's not one cantrip<br>
That will help him sip<br>
Let alone drain a yard glass of beer.<br><br>

So while he's great<br>
With granite or slate<br>
The dwarf ain't a tall enough chap.<br>
The hobbit, though frightful<br>
And the gnome, so delightful<br>
Have got a similar handicap.<br>
So take your tall self,<br>
Be you human or elf<br>
Or half-orc, with a loud cheer,<br>
To the bar with your pals<br>
And a couple cute gals,<br>
And drink down that yard glass of beer!<br>