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Cortland Apple is a young mage-in-training who lives at the Mage Tower north of Scryfe. His mother is Maggie Apple, who is part of the crew I'm travelling with. I am taking him home tonight. This town is a college town, and the ladies are young and willing.


Time to make some friends.


He just took us out to a nice restaurant, and I offered to walk him home. We head towards the dorms. "So, Cort. How are ya? Got any ladies in your life?" I give him a grin. Cort is clearly thrown off. "Um. W-well. I um, went to the temple of Kyrie a few times, you know, to learn how."


I scratch my head. "Riight. Well, you can talk to some priests I guess. But I mean, a relationship? I mean, you're in school. Plenty of ladies out here, looking for some fun. There's this one girl in high school I was never able to catch." Cort nods. "Yeah, I know what you mean. There's this one lady-"


"GRIFFON HOOOOUUUUSSE!" Uhoh. Twenty feet from Griffon House (sweet name!), one middle-aged man is screaming at the top of his lungs. Around him are a crowd of several male and female students in various stages of guilt. "Oh no!" Cort squeaks. "It's Dean Kroost!...and the Eilin Sister Sorority. Ooo."


I try to pull Cort aside, but it's too late. Dean Kroost sees us and points our way. "And the final members of the grand scheme returns. I've traced down today's little swordplay prank to your houses. The Eilin Sisters supplied the swords and GRIFFON HOUSE enchanted them."


Uhoh. Guilty confession flashback time. So, the day before. I was chatting with Selene, one of the Eilin Sisters at the local tavern. Selene has a rapier at her side and a spellbook on the other. She's pretty smart. "So, let me get this straight. You come in, out of town, no formal schooling in magic and you expect me to bend head over heels for you? You are quite a creep." She huffed. I knew if I wanted this talk to go somewhere I needed my third best weapon: humor. "That's not true. I think about all sorts of stuff. Like, um...the numbered pig gag. I've been thinking, how about you do it with swords?" She gave me an incredulous look and left. She didn't even wait for me to offer to pay the bill. I struck out on that one. I feel pretty bad for this, although that would explain the animated sword mess that occured yesterday. So I stick around and accept punishment.


A few hours later, all of us are cleaning weapons. For me, it's good, hard work. For the Eilin Sisters, it seems pretty routine. They all have martial weapons on their sides; swords, maces, a shortbow or two. Definitely mage knight types. Hot. Griffon House, though are definite mages. Some can barely lift their wands, let alone the poleaxes that need cleaning.


Okay Manny, keep focused. I ignore the shiny weapons (is that flame enchanted?) and move up to Cort. He is shining a broadsword. He can't really hold it, but he's trying. A for effort, buddy. "Okay Cort. Who's your lucky lady, where is she, and why aren't you talking to her?" Cort is keeping his eyes focused. "W-well, her name is Selene"


Oh crap.


"And she's over there"


Glaring at me.


"And, um, well there isn't much to talk about."


Okay Manny. You got this. You can't get her, but you can help a brother out.


I turn to Cort. "Okay Cort. First lesson: You can talk to ladies about anything. Ladies love conversation. The first lady I romantially spoke to, we talked about thrown weapons for an hour." To be truthful, I was the only one talking. Back on topic: He's still hesitating, catching side glances at Selene, and freezing up with anxiety. "Seriously, go talk to her. Now!" I shove him over, and he of course stumbles and bumps into Selene. Ha, meet cute.


Cort apologises profusely. But Selene does talk to him while shooting me angry glares. I think they are talking about me. Still, it seems to be going well. He manages to say something that makes her laugh. Nice. They seem to- wait.


People are backing away from one the corner of the armory, and I see it too. The chains nearby are wrapping around some kind of humanoid... It's a Chain Demon. Not good. These guys can manipulate chains and weapons and stuff. I try to warn everyone with a "Everyone back! Demon!" but it lashes out and grabs a few of the students. "Give me your souls! ALL OF THEM! TASTY SOULS!" Man this thing knows how to chew the scenery.


Demons know hubris, that's for sure. So it's easy to goad them. "Everyone, quick. Follow me and run! We can't possibly kill it!" Luckily the students start following me through Dean Kroost's home. Lots of magical artifacts in here, a huge library. That's cool. Pay attention Manny. The roof.


So we make it to the roof. Wait, where is Cort? Oh crap. I don't have time to think as the Demon comes up roaring from below. Time to execute the plan. I grin and order everyone. "Now then, off the roof!" I draw my sword and go on the offensive. The Eilin Sisters pull out their weapons and help me force the Demon around the rooftop. Now the door is clear. Either we kill this thing or we have an easy escape.


The Demon laughs at us as we approach. "Hehe. Very funny. You think I am powerless up here? There is plenty of metal to use. AND YOU are holding it for me! Get over HERE!" Oh no. I didn't think about that. I figured if it had no chains to manipulate it wouldn't be a risk. But it can manipulate other stuff, like our weapons. And its pull is strong. It already has a few weapons from the sisters, and I'm losing the grip on my sword.


That's when Cort comes running up. He's holding a wand in one hand and he's running up to me. "Give me your sword Manny!" he shouts. "Dude, 
bad timing. We need to keep metal away from this thing." He puts one hand on my hilt and...punches me with the other. Wow. Balls.


I lose my grip as I stumble and Cort goes flying with the sword towards the Demon. It grins and readies a spear, a sword and a kukiri to impale him with. This is gonna suck so bad. Maggie's gonna choke me in my sleep tomorrow. But Then! Cort readies his wand and casts something...uh...um...carry the six...Gust of Wind. Nice! Except his aim is off, and it propels him into the Demon. Oh no. Cort and the Demon just fell off the roof! Oh crap. Thud.


A few minutes later and everyone is outside. Cort is on top of the Demon, with my sword sticking out of its torso. Demon blood everywhere. Selene is checking his wounds, and Cort is definitely beaten up from the fall, but he is alive. Can't say the same for the Demon, though. I help Cort up and slap him on the shoulder (half to congratulate him, and half to get him back for that punch.) "Good job man. That was some quick thinking."


"GRIFFON HOOOOUUUSE! WHAT is going on?" Dean Kroost comes marching back, angry as usual. Everyone freezes in place, either too scared or exhausted to put up a defense. So I step up to the plate. "Here's the culprit who did the prank with the swords! It hid and tried to kill us. I mean Jeez, what's the deal? You're a Demon summoner now? Which Lord are you in cahoots with?" A few in the crowd step up and nod in agreement.


He hesitates a bit and then calms down. "Hmpf. Perhaps the Houses are not responsible for this. I will not punish you until my investigation is complete. But someone is cleaning this mess. YOU, the loudmouth. Get cleaning." And he's pointing at me. No good deed goes unpunished, ya know?


Naturally I walk up and start fast talking the Dean. ''This is going to make a big stink if he keeps blaming the houses. Investigators are going to see the Demon, and they're going to wonder where the Demon came from, and how is this related, and a Frat and a Sorority full of witnesses know what they saw.'' At this time, Dean Kroost is screaming at me, full of anger, demanding to know my name. I give him a fake one, of course. Hugh Mann never fails! Anyway, the REAL point of all of this was to give everyone a distraction so they could sneak off. Dean Kroost eventually stomps off.


Wait, that means I'm the only person left to clean up the mess is me. ARGH. I hate cleaning Demon blood! Seriously, it stinks and everything.


So it's morning, and I've worked all night long. The Demon corpse is buried, burned and blessed. The weapons are clean, organized by type, size, and hilt design. I flipped through some of the books and didn't understand a thing from them. And I'm exhausted. Still, I need to check on my charge. I head to Griffon House. I ask the front desk, but Cort hasn't home returned yet. I do get a note from Selene, though.


"So, you're a matchmaker as well as a creep.
Cort is very nice, though. Thank you. -Selene"


Mission Accomplished. Which is good, because when Maggie asked me if her son was alright, I replied "They're fine." She gave me a bonechilling death glare. Maybe she's psychic. That's two death glares in two days. Fail.


In the library later that day, I flipped through a primer on the gods and came across Kyrie. Oh. That's who Cort was meeting.