A Yard Glass of Beer

Inspired by a comment made by Symmetry, who said that "Dwarven things aren't that long", in regards to the fact that though they are prodigious drinkers, due to their vertical shortcomings dwarves would have trouble drinking a yard glass of beer. A yard glass of beer is, of course, a yard-tall glass of beer containing three pints or so. It's rather popular in Australia, I hear.

A Yard Glass of Beer
>br?

Oh a dwarven miner, You can't get any finer For working your shaft all day. With pickaxe or spade, He's perfectly made For digging it out any way. But for all of his skill With chisel and drill There's one thing he can't do, I fear When he gets to the bar He's too short by far To throw back a yard glass of beer.

A mean hobbit rogue Is rather in vogue For fixing your family affairs With poisoned snacks, Or daggers in backs He's the shadow at the top of the stairs. Yet such deeds in the dark (Though rather a lark) Are useless, it's terribly clear, When out on the town He tries then to down A towering yard glass of beer.

A clever gnome mage Whatever his age Can beat you in day or in night. With illusions aplenty And spells (nearly twenty) He's a tricky li'l bastard all right. But all of his chanting And masterful casting Though it earns the respect of his peers, There's not one cantrip That will help him sip Let alone drain a yard glass of beer.

So while he's great With granite or slate The dwarf ain't a tall enough chap. The hobbit, though frightful And the gnome, so delightful Have got a similar handicap. So take your tall self, Be you human or elf Or half-orc, with a loud cheer, To the bar with your pals And a couple cute gals, And drink down that yard glass of beer!