Chadius: TOA Summary 5/28/07

• Slashz0r vs Viveka
  • Plains of Aftermath, weather changes drastically
  • Slashz0r summons skeletons, an efreet to help, enchants his sword and armor
  • Viveka drains his soul
  • Viveka wins!

• ROUND 1 COMPLETE
  • People are escorted to their custom rooms to rest for tomorrow
  • Emero is building gem armor, gives a gauntlet to Ceelie
  • Lily builds a fancy switch to disable Issac Dyode
• Round 2!

• Diiman vs Emero
  • Slick floor, lots of pipes
  • Diiman makes good shots, Emero misses
  • Diiman wins

• Viveka vs Dyode
  • Cage match!
  • Viveka and Dyode hit head on
  • Viveka poisons Dyode before his Dyodes can catch up
  • Viveka wins

• Li vs Ruff
  • Rising Stone Pillars in a lake
  • Ruff throws rocks, smashes pillars on Li
  • Li can take it, Li can dish it out too
  • Li wins
• ROUND 2 COMPLETE

• Li is...interested in Madame Ruff
  • Ruff promises to meet him tonight
  • Li asks for advice from Diiman, talks to Li

• FINAL ROUND! Li vs Viveka vs Diiman
  • Rock platform, floating in midair
  • Melee pigpile!
  • Diiman shoots, Viveka leeches Li. Li's out.
  • Viveka stumbles, Diiman guns 'er down
  • Diiman wins the tournament!

• Li gets Madame Ruff's number and address
• Ceelie brings Emero along
• The Coliseum's new finish fades, the Champion of Tournaments fades
• Diiman gives the Golden Fork to Ceelie

• Switching to d8s!

Damage based on Roll

Attack	2-4	5-8	9-13	14-16
Damage	100	75	50	25

Brain Dump: Ceelie

Li, I think you missed one, but okay, I'll give it a try...

*ahem*

Viveka and Slashz0r in the Plains of Aftermath

Slashz0r calls bony
Minions, Efreet, to aid him
Fog hides their failure

Toy sword and armor made real
Cannot save his soul. Aw, nuts.

How was it guys? How'd I do? Li, can you write that one all pretty too for me? I would like it very much to hang up on my living room wall at home. I'd say about five inches high would fit perfectly! It would be a very nice souvenir from this whole ordeal.

Wow, round 1 was exciting! This tournament thing is really pretty darn cool. Though, maybe it's just the super-extra front-row shoulder seat...Anyway, we also got really cool rooms for the night. Good old mister Champion of Tournaments showed everyone to their very own nifty rooms. Lily had a really cool computer lab with all electronics and gaming stuff, and Vivi had her very own atticy place, complete with dust and boxes and stuff. Li got a plain room with a never-ending supply of calligraphy...supplies...oh crap, I'm starting to talk like D-man. Uh oh. Uhm, I'll work on that! Oh yeah, D-man -- he had a really cool room with a bunch of movies and a cool TV and a fridge, and oh yeah, it had a shooting range too! And Tara had a beautiful forest, with a bed in it. Yeah, that was a little odd but it worked. Emero got a super shiny crystalline cave. They even had a little room just for me! I'm really not used to sleeping alone though...

After just a little while, I woke up again. I got a bit of a snack, and then noticed a little tunnel leaving my room. I started heading down it, and could hear a very familiar voice. I worked my way up the tunnel, around some corners, through a little crevice past a boulder, and into a different section of cave. It was turning more and more crystalline (surprise!) and I could hear E laughing and zapping and talking to himself. It's really adorable how excited he is about everything! And then I noticed all the etching on the walls. There were pieces cut out, and pictures carved in. It was mostly E doing awesome poses, but some of them were of me! Squee squee! I kept going up the tunnel, jumping from carving to carving. Lily passed on a few messages about some gadget to stop Dyode (I think she's got a grudge -- not that I blame her) and I told Vivi and D-man about them. Vivi's always awake, and D-man just happened to wake up for a little bit. He sounded kinda lonely. I guess he's not used to sleeping alone either. But he doesn't have to be alone when he can hear me!

So there I am doing all the super incredible poses, all down the corridor, and then BAM! Suddenly, I bump right into E! I must've turned all sorts of super pink-in-the-face, but he was really cool about it. He had this multi-faceted green crystal armor that he was cutting out of the walls. He even gave me a piece to keep for my own -- see, look! It's super-sparkly, especially with D-man's laser that everyone else says they can't see. We chatted for a while, really rather a while actually. Then I woke up when D-man knocked on my door. I guess we fell asleep in the little green corridor. Oopsie. We were closer to E's door, so we both went out that way, and ran to breakfast. I told D I'd meet him there.

When we got there, everyone had their own breakfast laid out. Vivi had this weird cardboard box that she kept saying was really tasty. They had some spicy tofu thing for Li, and a bunch of funny French stuff for D. They didn't have anything for me, so I just ate his. I was sitting on CoT's shoulder when he poofed over to the losers' room to check in on their breakfast, and I got to say hi to Lily and folks, and steal a muffin over there too. Then he poofed back again. After everyone was finished eating, CoT made the Grand Announcement that we were ready to begin Round 2!

So we all get up to the colliseum proper, and everyone takes seats and stuff, and CoT announces the beginning of Round 2, and then POOF! All the contestants are zapped into their arenas! It was totally awesome, I was cheering for everyone! First, E squeaks out "Coool! Who am I fighting?" and D-man pokes his head around one of the pipes, and E's like "Oooh, good luck D-man!" and then Li bows 'cause he's all stuffy, and Dyode is like "Ok, dyodes, do it!" Mme Rough nods and the stone pillar she's standing on shoots up into the air, and Dyode goes "Seek and destroy, little guys. Alright, let's do this!" and D-man takes this stupid dive flat onto his belly and slides into a pipe like an idiot. Ouch. And then he shoots -- blam, blam! -- and one hits E, and then Mme throws the rock at Li and bashes him with it, and E dodges the second shot with this incredible folding move, and the dyode flies past Vivi. Vivi rakes the dyode with her claws, Li launches up into the air with a frenzied beating of wings, and E zots his funny lightning zappy stuff at D. Dodge, and dodge!

Dyode starts talking to his stupid toys again, and one of them shoots Vivi. Mme jumps on Li and kicks him while E climbs up a pipe, and D-man gets back on his feet. So D shoots E again (Ouch!) and Li backhands Mme off his back. D takes this crazy ricochet shot at E that bounces off like three pipes and the floor, but E totally sees it coming and twists out of the way. Vivi charges straight for Dyode, but he dodges. "Whoa! Claws!" E goes all freaky POP and bounces all over the place, hitting D-man in this brilliant flash.

Mme grabs Li's foot and Dyode pulls his gun. D-man does this super-D-jump around a pipe like the one where he swings through bars in the tenth-story scaffold gunfight scene in "Construction by Day, Demolition by Night" and sends another bullet tearing through poor E. Mme drops onto a pillar and Li divebombs towards her. Dyode takes a shot at Vivi with his gun, but misses, and she rakes him across the face and takes a bite out of his soul. Li bellyflops onto the rock in front of Mme just as CoT is looking at D&E's fight and saying "Wow, this is getting close, kids!" D takes another amazing trick shot and E faceplants. "And the winner is...Diiman!"

Dyode starts whining, all "Ow, geez!" and glowing in blue. Mme is like "ooookay...when in Rome, I guess..." and tries this cool standing drop-kick move, but Li barely rolls out of the way, and the droids totally shoot at Vivi and miss. Li jumps up into a palm strike and Vivi chomps Dyodes soul again, knocking him down. Mme smoothly dodges Li's strike, and the droids try to shoot, but they get frozen mid-blast. Respect the rules, man! When you're down, you're down, and boy are you down! "And the winner is...Viveka!"

So, Mme tries to jump kick Li, but goes flying past him and into the water. Splashdown! Li of course takes a pause, and reaches down to help her out of the water. She takes his hand, reels in to headbutt him, but he tips his head aside and she misses. "Huh. Way trickier than I thought." Nose to nose with Mme, Li stands and blinks, wings twitching. "You're ready to continue then?" Mme shrugs. "Sure, why not?" Li whips into an awesome spinkick, and finishes up blushing.

Mme sighs. "This is getting us nowhere." The next pillar over from them rises up. She jumps over, cracks off a piece with her elbow, and gets serious. "Okay, let's do this." I sneak over to D-man and beg him for an awesome laser, and he pulls the IR sight off his big gun. Li centers into a peaceful meditation for a brief moment. It's almost like someone hit pause just for a second, and most of his wounds closed. Then, suddenly, the moment ends, and Mme knocks a pillar towards him. This is when I hop off CoT's shoulder and head downstairs. The pillar comes crashing down on top of Li, and he flies up out of the rubble, striking Mme squarely. She swings another pillar, but Li escapes! He tries to grab her, but she eludes! Mme swings the pillar again, to no avail. Li comments in Chinese on her skill and beauty, punching her again. She narrowly avoids being hit, and drops into a sweep attack. She thunks uselessly against his leg. "You're a lot heavier than you look."

Li blinks. "Oh. Uhm. You're quite beautiful." Punch. I sneak around the loser area downstairs, until I find E's door. Li punches Mme, and she takes it square in the shoulder. "What? Ow. Geez!" Nudging the door open just a teensy bit, I aim and FIRE the IR laser straight at E, shattering brilliant dancing bits of laseradiation everywhere. Mme swings at Li and misses. "Shouldn't you be keeping your eye on the prize?" I can't help giggling when E notices all the sparklies he's making. Li keeps yapping and punching Mme. She's like "There's a first time for everything, I guess. Are you new here or something?" Li starts talking about the monastery, and hits her again. She totally stopped doging once he busted out the sweet-talk. He should've done that sooner. "This explains a lot." Mme swings and misses, again. See, she started missing more too when he became such a flirt. Me and E start running circles around the little bed in his little room, stealing the laser from each other and playing crazy laser tag and making zapping noises.

Mme attacks Li, and he flows out of the way. "If I'm not being too forward..." Li throws another punch, connecting with her jaw. "Perhaps we could speak after this fight?" Mme grunts. "Ow. Maybe." E swings the laser around, and I dive under the bed before he can peg me with it. I'm just coming out the other side of the bed and tackling E's feet when Mme says "Alright, deperate times..." She leaps back to another pillar, and pauses like she's waiting for something. Li takes this deep breath, and blows flames all over her! I wince, and E looks at me, and I'm like "Man, that fire breath has to hurt." Mme falls over, and Li leaps to her side to make sure she's okay. "And the winner is...Tao...Jin...LI!"

Wow, that was an incredible round 2! After the fighting was all done, E and I were still playing tag and stuff. I guess at dinner, Lily spent a little time talking to Isaac Dyode about some random stuff. Li was talking to Mme Rough, about stuff like his 200 years training at the monastery, and their fighting techniques. It was really funny -- he asked her where she learned to fight, and she just said "Chicago". That stopped him in his tracks for a moment. Vivi was over talking to Slashz0r. I guess she was offering him some of her tasty, tasty box. He didn't really understand that she doesn't eat like the rest of us do. But they had some funn talking about how Vivi was made in an attic, and some little German girl, and he was talking about all the loot he was going to get when he won the tournament, except then Vivi beat him. Then Vivi made the mistake of asking how he raises those skeletons, and he started talking about some fantasy world of thingamablob and --

Edited to preserve GM sanity.

E and I did some great target practice. You know, he's pretty darn good with a bow. We had awesome fun, and I drew a smiley face on the target. It was awesome. Then everyone went to sleep. Weirdos.

In the morning, there was a winners' banquet. I didn't win anything, but they let me sit in anyway. We had way more food than I could eat in a week. They sure like to stuff people. How can you fight, after you eat all that? When everyone was done, CoT announced that it was time for the Final Round. Where three of the world's greatest fighters would come together in a great battle. And then D mentioned that it probably wasn't the best three, since we were sort of randomly dragged in, but I think CoT either didn't hear him, or just ignored him.

And then, POOF! All three of them were on a large rock floating through space! Vivi leaped over and took a swing at D, but as usual, D totally dodged it. Li took off, flew over, and unleashed death from above on D. Again, D dodged swiftly out of the way, escaping unscathed. He pulled out his heavy pistol in one hand, and shotgun in the other. Blam, blam! The shotgun spread caught Vivi in the leg, and the armour piercing round from the heavy pistol grazed Li's shoulder. Just when it looked like D was getting off easy, a rock came flying down and slammed into him. Ouch!

Vivi shook off the hit and turned to take a swipe at Li. Li flipped around in midair and dodged, flying straight into another attack on D. Di pulled this awesome rebound shot at Vivi with the shotgun, and she managed to just barely dive out of the way. Then, he made this seriously intense behind-the-back shot at Li, and put the bullet right through his leg. Then the rocks started flying towards D again, but he managed to dodge them this time.

So Vivi came back with another attack on Li -- slurp! Whoa, Li tastes like...tofu? He immediately backhanded Vivi, but she managed to duck out of the way. D man took another brilliant shot at Vivi, hitting her. He spun quickly around, and pulled the trigger on Li. The brains went flying, and Li was down for the count.

Vivi watched Li disappear, and turned around to D man. "Hi." D man said "Hello," still pointing the shotgun at her. Vivi tried to duck under the shotgun, but totally tripped over her own feet. That was embarassing. D pulled a quick switch to his assault rifle, and gunned her down like it was a movie or something -- kinda like that freaky scene in the middle of Guns in Space where they're all on that asteroid battling it out and D mows down six guys in about eight frames of film. So after that, D saw Vivi fading out and struck this really silly pose. And I had to do the same pose, of course, on CoT's head. The crowd totally roared, and CoT announce that the winner is...D-MAN!!

WOOOOOOOO!!!! All the losers showed up immediately behind CoT, and D appeared next to him. He pulled out the golden fork and held it out to D. He took the fork and held it up. "Woohoo! I got your fork, Ceelie!" There was incredible cheering from the crowd, and everything got crazy for a little while. I took the fork and posed with a stunning smile. After the excitement died down, people started to get up and leave the stands. CoT said it was about time for him to disappear. "Chosen One - I am happy to have been able to help you. But soon I will fade away." I guess it was sort of his fate to go poof, but it still seems a little sad. Li was able to find Mme Rough and get her phone number before the real vanishing began. I asked E what he was going to do. He said he had some stuff to find, and a mine he had to go to. That's when I remembered that the next fork was in a mine in Zimbabwe, so I asked if that was here. He said yes it was, so I told him he should come with us! 'Cause we were going the same places and trying to do the same things, and TOA is really cool and he could come talk to Zii and everything, and he said sure.

*Super sound effect here*
Emero has joined the party!

I wished CoT a happy afterpoofing before he completely faded out. Some of the contestants disappeared in those puffs of lightning that kept zapping everyone into the arenas. After all the fading and zapping and all, it was Rick, Dyode, E and the group of us who were left. We were standing around in the middle of the real, old, coliseum. No more super-shiny sparkly luster. And, normal tourists. Poop! That means people! Quick, E, into the pocket! This way!

The guards came over to ask us what we were doing here, but before they got too far, they noticed D. It was the usual D-man conversation where he gives out some story about scouting for another movie. They spoke with really funny Italian accents. After chatting with them for a little while, we left and headed back to the Black Tiger and through the portal to TOA Headquarters.

Suddenly, I get this funny tingly feeling, like the world just got a little more difficult to live in...