Guacamole

The distinct lack of quality Mexican food on the east coast is enough to make baby Jesus (pronounced "hey-SOOS" for that authentic Spanish touch) cry. I'm serious folks, you don't find people around these parts farting up a storm from a good ol' bean burrito or anything comforting like that. It's just plain sad. I had to remedy this situation by making my own guacamole so I could eat it with some crappy Tostitos from a bag and pretend that I was back in the Emeryville Public Marketplace where a guy named Jorge sold burritos the size of my forearm out of the back of his van.

Ingredients:

1 or 2 avocados (depending on the size)

1 medium sized tomato

1 large handful fresh cilantro

1/2 onion

2 cloves garlic

1 dash rice vinegar (because I'm AZN, and because it tastes more interesting than lime)

salt to taste

Mince the garlic and the fresh cilantro and put it in a bowl. Dice the onion nice and fine. Cut up the avocados and save the seeds (so you can plant them in the spring). Add the onion and avocado to the bowl. Splash a little rice vinegar on the entire concoction and mash the crap out of the avocados with the back of a fork until texture resembles a chunky paste. Dice up the tomato into small chunks and add it to the mixture with salt to taste. Stir the avocado paste to incorporate the tomatoes and serve right away. Save any extra in a tupperware container in the fridge (it will brown up if you leave it sitting around to oxidize).